3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think I died a long time ago.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
