Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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