Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
