You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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