Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
