He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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