also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
