A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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