As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
40s are totally the cure
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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