she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
