literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
