hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
