I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
