There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
