I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
