Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
