My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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