Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
