I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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