Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
