he thought i was a dude.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
