My cat gives me a boner
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
