Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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