Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
