woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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