Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
