I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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