So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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