I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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