She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
