Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
