VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
