Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
