Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
