All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
