well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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