She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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