I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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