I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
