you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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