the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize