she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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