did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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