i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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