Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
