I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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