dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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