So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
