How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
