i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
