I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
